Shots of Serenity Episode 49

Jasmine St John 0:00
What is self care? Is it mani pedis? Is it facials? Massages? Journaling? Is it self care when I take my vitamins like, what is the true definition of self care? Or is there even one?

Jasmine St John 0:24
Hello my love's and welcome to Shots of Serenity, where you can find dope conversations and a peace of mind. This podcast is not meant to be a replacement for counseling, or psychotherapy. I encourage each and every one of you to seek out a licensed helping professional as you see fit. This podcast was established as a safe space to continue the conversation of mental health and all of its manifestations. Now let's get into it!

Jasmine St John 1:00
Hello my love's and welcome back to another episode of Shots of Serenity. Happy Day, happy Sunday, happy whatever day it is that you are listening to this podcast. I hope all is well. As usual, I really hope that you had an amazing, amazing week. I hope that last week was filled with all the things that your heart desires. And I hope that this week, you can manifest you can plan you can set intentions, for all the things that you want to accomplish and attract this week. Let's talk about self care, right? On Instagram, if you guys don't follow us, please do so now we are on Instagram. We're pretty active there especially because I told y'all a couple episodes ago, I didn't want to do this. But we are there I'm actually finding joy in it simply because it's on my own terms, and I don't feel pressured. I don't feel like I have to do a whole lotta just to get on. I am typically my organic self when creating this content. However, you don't follow us on Instagram, go ahead and follow us at shotsofserenity_. And on Sunday, specifically, I do self care Sundays. So the purpose of self care Sundays is to cultivate a relationship with self. It's also to promote debriefing, taking a step back and self love, I really, really, really love the art of self love. I feel like and as you guys can probably tell, especially with the themes of these conversations, it's really about you and being selfish in a healthy way. I truly, truly believe that pouring into ourselves, allow us to be the higher versions of ourselves, thus allowing us to be better people, you know, around others, which in turn will help us work towards a better place a better community, a better country, America, world, wherever you are. I think change I think all the beautiful things really starts with self and we can get into, we're not gonna get into it.

Jasmine St John 3:25
But I think all the changes that we as people desire on this place that we call home Earth, it really starts with checking in on how we can do better, checking in on our traumas, learning ourselves, so that we can't then that we won't project onto others. Even if we do, having so much self awareness where you can have effective communications with other people, and talk about what may or may not have transpired. So I love self care. It's not an easy thing. It's not, it sounds easy, but it's very in depth, it takes intention, it takes consistency and it takes true want. I thought it'd be really nice to dedicate a whole episode to self care and probably some more episodes, because I really, really feel like they're valuable. Essentially most of the things that I talk about are self care things if you think about it, and I'll explain more of that while we get deeper into the conversation. So again, if you do not follow us on Instagram, please go ahead and do so now I would greatly appreciate it. Especially because I tried to come up with creative ways to change up self care, self care Sundays I should say. Whether that be the facials or talking about what I did if I go for a massage or if I make myself a DIY facial or a mask or anything like that. Now I am going to also start getting into the other ways that I have self care for myself. And it's always not you know, the glitz, the glam, the facials, the mani pedis the massage, it's not always that sometimes self care could be deep reflection could be me sitting and writing in my journal. Sometimes my self care could be me putting on my beats and listening like blasting music and dancing just randomly. Sometimes my self care could be reminding myself to take my vitamins to take my supplements. My self care could be while I'm getting into the episode, so yeah, follow us on Instagram, I really, really encourage you, especially if you need some motivation and some reminders. I do it on Sunday, because Sunday's are supposed to be time to sit back and reflect. Now, does that mean I don't do self care throughout the week? Heck, no. I try to do self care, every day if I possibly can. So yeah, follow us on Instagram. Although I do promote the mani pedi, the massages and all the beautiful things. The true intent is to motivate and inspire others to take some intentional time with yourself. Even if that's five minutes throughout the day, or five minute increments throughout the day, or giving yourself a whole day to stay in and sleep. That is self care.

Jasmine St John 6:38
So we're gonna go to the dictionary Google definition of self care. So I believe I got this from Google. Google says self care is a process of taking care of oneself, with behaviors that promote health and active management of illness when it occurs. Now, I thought this definition was pretty interesting, more so towards the last part about, you know, active management of illness when it occurs. Because again, self care seems very glamorized. I kind of glamorize it on self care Sunday sometimes even though in my captions I talk about how it does not have to be all nice and pretty. In the definition, it talks about management of illness when it occurs. So earlier in this episode, I talked about self care for me can look like my vitamins and my supplements. Self Care is exactly what it is. This is a concept that's very direct, very straightforward, is really taking care of your mind, your body, your spirit, your energy, your soul, your being like that is self care, anything that is conducive to any of those aspects in life that's considered self care. So if self care means that you know your skin you need to give it more attention than heck yeah, do your facials you know make masks if self care entails you being more intentional about your hair care because you have dry skin or because your hair is breaking. Do that. If self care entails you know, taking some time to set out a meal plan or being more intentional about your grocery shopping, because it's important for your gut health, and take that time and care for yourself.

Jasmine St John 8:44
Although this seems very trivial, and like duh, I really wanted to take time to really like emphasize the fact that self care is just really loving on every fiber of you. So if that means getting your health together, and you doing your own research to do so, or you getting out and being intentional about your health, take care of yourself have that self care time. I think self care, it can consist of sleep if you are a person that considers yourself as a hustler, a grinder hell a mom, parent. Then if your self care consists of setting aside 10 hours to sleep because you need it. That is okay. It is okay you have permission to sleep in. If your self care if your life right now is evolving, you know, like being healthy and just really surrendering to your body and you have to set out intentional times to exercise. That is self care if, you've been realizing that your mental health is a little off, do something that is conducive for it going to counseling and self care. Talking to others is self care. Reflecting on how you've been feeling and why you've been feeling that way is self care. Is it work? Yes. But is it taking care of yourself? Hell yes. Again, do the spa days and also do the deep reflections, do the facials, but also wake up five or 10 extra minutes in the morning so that way you can create yourself a healthy breakfast, take time to set for Sunday to plan out your week if you have problems with time management, or you get overwhelmed and stress. So that way you won't have to deal with the overwhelm or stress and anxiety. You're taking your Sundays to plan out and have time management that is taking self care time to basically ensure that the rest of your week, you would have less stress, you will have less anxieties, you'll have less flustering. I hope that makes sense. So in a nutshell, self care is anything that consists of taking time to cater to the internal and external needs of self.

Jasmine St John 11:33
Now self care can also look like taking yourself out of situations that aren't conducive for you this is probably more on the mental health side. But if you're going to something or surrounding yourself with people that deplete your energy that make you question your worth, and that isn't overall caring for who you are as a person, then self care is taking yourself out of that situation. Self Care is creating those boundaries that we talk about to protect your energy. Self Care is literally a very broad umbrella term of how you can show up for you. So when people talk about self care, yes, the the external things the manis pedis, the spas, the all the beautiful things. Now I'm also not saying those things aren't bad because I dang sure do them for myself, especially because I feel like during the week, I'm always on go, I'm always on go, I'm always on go. And I really just want to take time to relax, take time to feel good, take time to pamper myself. A lot of my facials are because I have eczema and I have dry skin. So taking time to do a facial Not only is relaxing for me, but it's also conducive to my skin health. So, I went off on a tangent, but going back to the example of surrounding yourself with people who help you get to where you want to be, in a mental realm, in a physical realm, in a financial realm, in a intellectual realm. Being mindful of that, and making decisions that will work out for you is self care.

Jasmine St John 13:29
So I really just wanted to bring awareness to that because I really like to promote self care in my life, especially for a while. I didn't I wouldn't say I didn't care for myself. But the love I had for myself was like underneath the love I have for other people. And that was a no, that just wasn't it like I am and have to be and always will be the number one person in my life. Even when I have kids like yes, I guess maybe I shouldn't talk about this because I don't have kids. But just the thought of having kids and it seems like you should just not care about you. Am I going to ride for my kids? Heck, yeah. Are my decisions going to be in the best interest for my kids? Hell yeah. But what can I give my kids if I don't have anything to give? How can I show up as a good mom, if I don't even know what it is to show up for me? How can I show to my kids to love their self and promote themselves when they see their moms not loving themselves and not promoting themselves? So I say that all to say like the relationship with self is so important. That's what a lot of the things we're going to talk about on this podcast that we have talked about on this podcast like how can we cultivate that relationship with self like we talked about last episode. If you have not listened to that episode, please go ahead and, take some time to listen because we love self over here. That is in a very humble self, no selfish way like not in a narcissistic type of way or pessimistic type away for those of you that may this may be your first episode listening, but more so in the I cannot pour from an empty cups type of way more so in the if I don't have my back then who's gonna have my back type of way? So where where do I start with this mindset? First, you take a step back and think about what is it that you need? What is it that I need? What do I need in this moment, and if you have to write it down, do so. If you have to put it in categories of mentally, physically, financially, and all the things do so. Really take a step back and figure out what it is that you need, not just what you want, and that you're okay with doing. But sometimes what we need is what we don't want to do. Sometimes what we need is like the nitty gritty, but that is that is where the change can begin. What is it that I truly need to be the best version of myself? If I die tomorrow? God forbid. What is it that I I'm leaving? What is it? Am I happy about how I treated myself? And I would say and those around you? Yes, that's important. But we're talking about us today like, Am I happy with how I treated myself? Do I feel like I poured into me as much as I can. So the next question I think we can ask ourselves is how is this conducive? Again, not just what we want, but what we need? If I do this? What is what benefit am I going to read from this? If I do this do the pros outweigh the cons? If I do this, am I going to be working towards my higher self? Or am I repressing things? Am I putting things in the back-burner? Am I again, it's about ourselves. But am I hurting other people in that way? And I don't want like when I get off on a tangent cause, I feel like I always have to have disclaimers about is it hurting someone? Or is it putting up boundaries that they may not like now those are different, right? But back to the question, how is this conducive to me and my goals?

Jasmine St John 17:35
Another place or question I think we get start is how much time does this entail? And not in a negative way? If this is going to take two hours? That brings me to the next question. What time can I set aside for this? If I need to meal prep or have a meal plan? How much time is this realistically going to take? Where can I fit it in my schedule to ensure that I do this? If it seems like I can't fit it into my schedule? What in my schedule do I need to take out so that way I can put it in because this is my self care? So we talked about sleep a little bit earlier? What time can I shut off in my day that can allow me to go to bed earlier or sleeping a little bit later? Is it me getting my outfits out for the entire week and ironing them already? So I won't have to do it in the morning and I can sleep in a little bit? Or I won't even have to just do it the night before and I can go to bed a little bit earlier? Are we talking about gut health? What time do I need to set aside to simply just research what it is that I need? After that, what time do I need to take to go grocery shopping or shopping online to obtain the things that I need? Again, just a recap the questions that you can ask yourself to really just start on self care self love journey is what do I need? How is this conducive? How much time does this take? And what time can I set aside for this task within my week, my day, what have you. But I really really do encourage you guys to relate back to the past episode, we spend our time talking about why it's important to build a relationship with ourselves how we can build relationships with ourselves, and I'm really just noticing a lot of these topics. They really all just go hand in hand. If you can just take some time to listen to those other episodes for more support, some more clarity and even more examples, and I love to have conversation. So anything you get add for other people, maybe put it on a Post underneath on Instagram, sometimes I kind of relate my Instagram posts to my topics on my podcast, whether that be you can DM me and have your thoughts and I can post it on my Instagram just to share. We are in community, we are trying to better ourselves to essentially change the world.

Jasmine St John 20:20
I also want to just end off with the thought that I always say, and I really just emphasize last episode, we spend our time taking care of others. We spend our time buying material things, our money, our material things. But how can we show up for us, I was listening to this podcast where it's basically health care how to surrender to your body, or like how to have better physical health, essentially, but not in a medicated way. And not just like herbal medicine, like integrative things, like it's not just a one and done type of approach. What this person does, and it's a new podcast that I started, so I'm gonna slaughter the name and all the things but what this person does at the end of his podcast, he answers questions. One of the questions it acts like do you think this new integrative medicine or like this new integrative health is too expensive? And he talked about how it can go two ways like Yes. Are there people in the world that aren't getting access to proper health? For sure. Are there people in the world is health care expensive, especially just to be giving medication and just treating the symptom quickly, for sure. But he also talked about how one everything is a relationship, right? So you want to make sure you go to people that have your best interests at heart and have similar values as you in like what we're talking about in the healthcare field. So what he really brought up is the fact that think about how much money we spend on iPhones, we spend on a car's monthly, monthly payments for cars is a scam, okay? is a scam, like, think about how we get these fancy things. And they are pretty costly or like pretty expensive. But then we complain that we have to spend a certain amount of money for a mental health session, we complain that we have to spend certain amount of money for a copay for health care that is actually conducive to like our goals. We complain about, you know, buying organic food or non GMO food because yes, it is more expensive, which we can get into all the things is that right? No. Is it right that the unhealthy things are cheaper? And the healthy things are more expensive? No, but can we change that right now? No, but we can't sit here and complain about our health. When we're sitting here, investing in these material things, when we're sitting here buying things from Amazon every two days. Now those things aren't bad, right? But it's about prioritizing what we feel like are important. So if your health is important, whether that be your physical and mental health, and you feel like there's a practitioner that will take you where you want to be, I encourage you to invest in them, see where you get that's, that is self care, like, see where see how much time it tells how much money it entails and see what bills you can kind of take off or how you can save and budget. These subscriptions we have for like Hulu, Netflix, all those things, those things add up, they may be 5, 10 dollars a month. But think about how that adds up in a year. Like, come on. So within the self care realm, you have to think about and prioritize what it is that you need in this moment. And what it is that you can take away from what your current lifestyle is, that's not really conducive to your self care, right? Like it's just it just seems fancy. It looks nice to post on Instagram, but like these are things that we really really have to dive into and be mindful of and no attack right.

Jasmine St John 24:38
We always talk about here for awareness. If this is for you, you take what you need and let go of the things that you don't. If this episode may speak or will be good for someone that you know in your life, share it, be mindful of it. We all need to start with awareness and self accountability. So I say this all to say I love you guys very much and that's why we get into these hard type of conversations that seem very easy, but we as people don't really put the steps into actions so that we can get the results that we need. So how can you get the results that you need by catering to yourself today, I love you? I love you guys have an amazing week. Like I said in the beginning of the episode, if last week maybe wasn't the week for you? What intentions can you set for yourself to work towards a better week this week? What things can you be in your control and you you know, play your cards right with those things, and what things aren't in your control and you just realize that it's not in your control, so there's no reason to stress about it. Anyways, I love you guys. Bye.

Jasmine St John 25:51
All righty, my love's it is that time of the episode where we provide a quote of the week. But first, I want to encourage you to write a review if you are listening to this on Apple podcast, or anywhere that you're listening to this where you can write a review. I also encourage you to email or DM us for conversation, follow us on Instagram like just stay connected because we are building community we are doing great things we are really coming around to year one of this podcast. So thank you so much for taking the time to really listen to 49 episodes essentially, like we're about to be 50 episodes in. So thank you guys very, very much. If you have not already, please subscribe to our podcast on all of our platforms. We are on Apple podcasts, Google Play, SoundCloud, and Spotify and more to come. So please be sure to subscribe. It really helps us. It really brings our podcasts to other people. So our quote of this week is from Robert Morley, and he says "to fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness". And that sentence quote only has a couple of words right? But it has so much depth. And this is one of the reasons why I started this podcast to really just promote the self love like self love is one of the key pieces to peace, essentially to serenity to tranquility to all of the words all of the like words you can add into that.

Jasmine St John 27:38
So I love you guys again and again and again. Please don't forget to subscribe and share this episode. Thank you, my love's for taking the time out to listen and join the conversation. I really hope you all enjoyed it. Please don't forget to subscribe and share this podcast. If you've done so already and you like the vibes. Be sure to write a review wherever you're listening to Shots of Serenity. It truly helps. Also, feel free to email or dm us with any recommendations, questions, comments or concerns. Our email is shotsofserenity@gmail.com our Instagram is shotsofserenity_ and those are all spelled the exact same way it is spelled on our podcast. I'll see you guys next episode. Thanks again for listening, peace and blessings to you all and your families, and I hope you all have an amazing week. Buh bye

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