Shots of Serenity Episode 48

Jasmine St John 0:00
Hello my love's and welcome back to another episode of Shots of Serenity Podcast with your host, Jasmine St John. Happy Sunday I hope all as well I hope you guys had an amazing week shout out to you for making it through another week and not only making it through another week but making it in full consciousness full understanding and awareness of who you are right here right now. So with that being said, I'm glad to be speaking glad and honored to be speaking with you guys again for another episode, Episode forty freakin eight, like period. So today we're going to be talking about how to build a relationship with self because we love us so much, right? We're going to start off with a nice quick meditation. So yeah, we'll go ahead and jump into it. Like all things if you can, if you're willing, if you're open get in a quiet space, you are free to sit down, you're free to lay down, you're free to just let this pass through your consciousness subconsciousness you do as you please, as you're called for. But of course, we like to start with the breath.

Jasmine St John 1:09
So we're going to inhale, and exhale. One more time inhale, and exhale. So this meditation will be surrounded by worthiness. You listening right here, right now are meant to be right here right now. Because you are worthy. You are full of all the wonderful things that it takes to be your higher self. All you have to do is to continue to embody, continue to be intentional, continue to learn, continue to research, but at the base of your being, you are worthy.

Jasmine St John 2:14
I want us to take some time to draw attention to our breath. We're going to slowly inhale through our nose. Open mouth, exhale, pay attention to your breath. Continue that sequence. Continue with ease and flow. As the connection with your breath is the best connection, the best relationship you can ever have. It fully embodies who you are, that allows you to take a second and just be grateful for the fact that you have that beautiful gift of breath.

Jasmine St John 3:12
Allow any ruminating thoughts to come in, let them come in with ease and gracefully let them go. Be aware of what may be coming up in this moment. And be intentional with addressing them later. Right now we are present. Right now we're focused. Right now we're understanding that our worth is fully capable our worth is, is immense. Our worth is beyond measures. You are worthy of anything your heart desires, all your heart desires. No matter what aspect of life that may be. Despite who may tell you otherwise, you are so so worthy. You're so worthy to be right here, right now. Worthy of accomplishing your goals. You're worthy of getting that job. You're worthy of being a wonderful parent. You're worthy of being a scholar student, an honorable student. You're worthy of being that boss business owner. You're worthy of being an amazing partner. You're worthy of being an amazing sibling, an amazing daughter, an amazing friend, an amazing son, an amazing acquaintance. You're worthy of all your aspirations, all your goals, all your heart desires. They are already yours. They're already yours. So embody them like you already have them.

Jasmine St John 5:11
Remembering that you're light, remembering that your source, remembering that your energy, and in remembering that you realize that you are capable you are more than capable of all that is within this world that is within your hearts, within your desires. Let this be a reminder to prioritize your relationship with self. Because you are worthy of the love that you give others and the love that others give you are worthy to give that to yourself and do so in a most grand way. Do so in the most elaborate way do so in its full capacity. Its full embodiment, you are worthy of fullness, not halfness, not a quarter, not a percent of fullness the 100% 110% 120%, you are worth that and more. So take time to understand that, to love that, to believe that and to walk in that mindset. As you start bringing awareness back. Allow yourself to wiggle your fingers, your toes, your arms, maybe roll back your shoulders, do some twist, bring some mobility back to your being. Like always, I'd love to give a warning that you will soon hear my intro. So be prepared for that if you need to pause for a second. To sit in this as long as you choose you are more than able to do so. I'll see you guys in a second.

Jasmine St John 7:41
Hello my love's and welcome to Shots of Serenity, where you can find dope conversations, and a peace of mind. This podcast is not meant to be a replacement for counseling or psychotherapy. I encourage each and every one of you to seek out a licensed helping professional, as you see fit. This podcast was established as a safe space to continue the conversation of mental health and all of its manifestations. Now let's get in it!

Jasmine St John 8:17
All righty, beautiful people. I have a question for you. Why is it that we are so dedicated to being understanding and considerate of others, that we forget that in order to give love, we must embody love? Why is that? And now this is no personal attack, as we all know. I've said many, many times a lot of things I'd like to come on here and talk about I have experienced or probably still am experiencing, still evolving, still going through the motions of these concepts. But why is it that we're just so we're so dedicated to have a wonderful relationship with that partner to have great relationships with our boss or coworkers, and we leave our relationship with ourselves to the wayside like are we not good enough? What is it?

Jasmine St John 9:15
Of course, I want to give some cautions, you know, just reminders as we go on with this conversation so I won't have to keep saying it throughout the conversation. In no way shape or form am I neglecting service. You know, we love service over here. I believe that service is a part of our Dharma as a part of our purpose as a part of why we're put on this earth with so many of us what I am promoting is prioritizing authentic giving. And that's not just being genuine in your giving. Of course we're doing that too. But we got to think about many interactions all of our interactions are just a big exchange of energy. Whether that be you know, if I come to you or if I come on this podcast with very sulky energy if I come here with very negative energy I'm transferring that to those that are listening I am in your ears right now, you gave me the privilege to be in your space so much. And if I'm giving out negative energy that is what I'm giving you. So we're that's still a form of exchanging energy. But you cannot pour into others what you yourself do not have. So how fake of energy or contradicting of energy am I sitting here being love and light and so happy and I'm walking around miserable. I'm walking around depressed, I'm walking around in hatred. Now, do I have emotions? Hell, yeah. Do I go through things that, you know, may cause certain shifts in my life? Heck, yeah, but the same way I preach to you guys, I don't stay in it. I use those opportunities as learning opportunities. I surround myself with people that may see me in the state for a little moment, and they remind me of who I am. They remind me of the truth of the reality. So I just wanted to give those cautions those, you know, disclaimers, because what Shots of Serenity without disclaimers, right?

Jasmine St John 11:26
So I say this all to say, imagine a teacher or freakin mechanic, you're going to a teacher or a mechanic to either teach you something, let's say math, if I'm asking you to teach me what a squared plus b squared equals, and you're telling me that equals d squared, my whole life, I'm gonna operate at that frequency, I'm going to operate just knowing that a squared plus b squared equals d squared, when most of us know that is supposed to equal c square, right? Like we're not getting into the mathematics of life, but just using it as an example. Or even a mechanic if I'm going to you to fix a gasket in my car. And I know or that there signs that the gasket is was broken, but you decide to fix the starter or the battery. You tell me like, Oh, this is fixed, this is fine. I'm gonna walk around thinking, Okay, you're the expert in this, you're the one who went to school, you're the teacher in this, you're the one who was teaching me this situation. So this is what I'm going, I'm gonna run with, right. I think we can use those same analogies with energy with just being ourselves with like, you know, giving advice with exchanging conversation, exchanging energies with people. How do you expect to teach? How do you expect to be a person that fix cars and want to show other people how to do the same when you yourself, don't know, the difference between a starter and alternator and a battery. You yourself doesn't know the difference between algebra and geometry, you yourself doesn't know the difference between a slope and all the other things that math has to entail. So it's just it's not making sense. That's how we continue on a cycle of just false information. Essentially, we could talk about how that's a part of our culture right now, people are just, you know, giving false information. But that's not what we're here for. I kind of just wanted to give that example of why it's so important to have a relationship with ourselves, Know thyself before you're trying to learn other people. Know thyself, love thyself before you're even trying to love and know other people. It doesn't make sense.

Jasmine St John 13:53
So I think it's so important to understand who we are. I mean, if we think about it, we're learning math, or we're learning a car, some of us can figure out what those things are to the microscopic level, right? Like, if you're a dentist, you know, all the things of dentistry so much, but do you know what food your body likes? Do you know the cause of your indigestion? Do you know your triggers? Do you know why you get so frustrated on things that are not in your control? Do you know why you may frequently get into dark spaces being around certain people or certain environments? Do you know why you utilize certain coping mechanisms as opposed to healthier ones? Do you know all those things, and again, I never want to come on here attacking because this is not that type of party, but a sense of awareness right? Like we are just so open to learn these different concepts and themes of this life these different niches, these different people, these different ways of life and those things are all great. They're amazing because they're our passions, right? They're amazing because they're a part of the tools to help us drive our purpose, right? But what about us? Are we not that important? Are we not supposed to be passionate about ourselves? Are we not supposed to understand the person that's operating within those passions? Are we not supposed to operate who the dentist is outside of the label entitled dentist? Am I not supposed to know who I am outside of trying to counsel people? Like, I deserve that the dentist deserves that, right? So that's this is what we're talking here. We're talking about awareness, we're talking about how to build a relationship with ourselves. So the first question is, who am I? Who are you? Who are we? Going back two ways that we can kind of discover that is trying to figure out what do you feel? What do you like, what do we dislike? Some of us like things, some of us don't, I was talking and I was gonna give an example because I really hate mayonnaise, right. But I don't mind it on like an egg salad, or like devil eggs. And I probably eat those very rarely. But I know when I like it, and when I don't like it, I know in what situations, that I don't mind it, because I know that I'm in control of how much and not over saturating. But I know that difference and I know that sounds really superficial. But even in examples where I may know that if an environment is for me or not, if my intuition is just ehhh like, I don't like it, or if I'm overthinking a lot. If I'm just not getting good vibes, then I know that my body, my soul, my spirit does not want to be in that environment and that's okay.

Jasmine St John 17:03
Now there's a difference between trying something new, but I know that my body just does not like that, as I've been becoming a lot more aware of my body and just like what it desires, and what it doesn't, I came to this realization that I really, really don't want to digest one of my favorite foods are nachos. As I've been, you know, working out just being more healthy, buying more foods and like, produce that, you know, are just holistic in a sense where it doesn't have GMO, it's not process, you know, I'm just just being very mindful of just cleaning it out. Being mindful about the certain materials that are used, making sure it's not harmful to the world, just all the things right. I realized that my body just does not do well, with nachos. Okay, I get heartburn, I get indigestion. But I love them so much. I came that realization like sis maybe you need to make them yourself, okay because that way, it's not as high in oil and fat and all the things but at the end of the day, I had to come to that realization that, although I may like it, my human who may like it, my body does not like it at all. So things like that. And the reason why I think it's so important to build a relationship with yourself is because I mean, you eat sleep and shit with yourself. I mean, let's just be real, right? Like, yeah, you may also share that space with other people. But at the end of the day, you're the only one in your mind, you're the only one in your thoughts. If you're lying to yourself, you're just living a life of lies. If you don't know who yourself who you're sleeping with a friend who you eating with like, let me know.

Jasmine St John 18:57
So the question is, how do I build a relationship with myself? Well, first, there needs to be a need and intention, doing anything passively, you might as well just not do it at all. If you don't have intention. If you, you don't even have to have a step by step plan, but intention of just embodying your full self intention of just being open to the light and the dark of you because that can be scary learning yourself, right? We all have things that are light and darkness of us. Now does it mean to have to stay that way? No, in a pro a benefit of learning yourself is being aware of those things that don't really sit well with you, or may need some evolving and doing so evolving, paying attention to those things with grace. So another way you can do so is shadow work, which is the child and you I want to have a whole episode on this but I'm still learning it right I'm still going through my process. I never want to come on here and just talk about stuff just to talk about stuff. But yeah, another thing is shadow work and what I say by that do your own research. Essentially, it just means exploring your inner you, exploring, you know, the situations that happen in your life that made you happy and situations that may have been traumatic situations that may have, you know, really impacted how you see the world today. And that's tough, right? It is tough is not easy, but it's for sure worth it because, again, it goes back to building that relationship with ourselves. We learn the traumas of our partners, we talk about our partners childhood, we explore that with them, have you done that with yourself more than on a surface level. So if you want to start building a relationship, an authentic relationship with yourself, start by thinking of who you were, as a child, and sometimes some of our like childhood could be so traumatic, where unfortunately the emotions may just be so repressed that we don't even remember like our memories are blocked. Right those are trauma responses and that's a whole nother thing to get into but if that is a case of you, ask trusted sources, ask you know parents, ask siblings, try to go through pictures try to go through different videos try to go through anything that has that connection if you pray, pray, if you believe in your ancestors ask them to guide you ask them to show you the way. If you want to just really sit and quiet and silence and quietness in silence and I'm sorry Namaste if you want to sit in silence and quietness I guess maybe just lay there and just just allow any memories allow any thoughts to just organically come to you. Another way we can do this is again we kind of talked about is identifying the light and the dark of you reflecting on that so I don't want to use the good and bad because like what but more so like your strengths and your challenges. Your strengths and things that you may need to work on don't want to say weaknesses either because normally all of those things really shaped us and molded us into the beautiful bosses that we are right now.

Jasmine St John 22:30
Especially if you are a person of color like if you go just, this is already a this is bringing me chills already because this is a stressful topic. But if you have not unfortunately we were never taught our history but do your research there's books there's articles out there now that things just cannot be hidden. If you want to know who you are the basis of your being. Go back to days that aren't that friendly and aren't that easy to digest but are needed. Go back to slavery time, go back to the times of oppression hell go back to yesterday at this point like and not even in a joking manner. But really just going back and just seeing who we are like, black people are golden, okay, like start there. It doesn't have to just be your family. So I know I kind of went off topic, but going through the light and the dark. So for example, maybe this is a little too much of disclosure, but it's fine, I'm comfortable with it. So I think a light about me is that, I can be supportive, I can be motivating, I will bring out the best version of you. When talking to you. There's nothing that I believe that you cannot do. But maybe a darkness spot of me or a dark in me is not having boundaries with that, realizing that I can't keep pouring into others that don't want to pour into themselves. I can't pour into others that when I don't have anything to pour out of right. So I need to, I've done shadow work on it. Like why is it that I feel like I have to, you know, make other people so happy with themselves when I'm deteriorating myself. So those are things that I think I've shared this before in a episode, I used to get so snappy, like how it was like it was okay for me to have the nastiest attitude in the room. Like back in my unhealed days back when I was younger and there was reasons for those right? But I had to explore why, where that came from, where that manifested from and realized that I don't want that to be a part of my being. It ain't cute, is not cute and I don't want that to be a mark on the world of who I am. So those are examples, it could be very different for you, it can be very different in different situations. So yeah, explore that.

Jasmine St John 25:09
And in order to explore, you have to be willing to receive the answer. You know, there's a saying, like, oh, like, don't go looking for something if you don't want the answer. It may be reasons that again, are traumatic as hell. But it's okay, we're gonna go, we're gonna go in it with grace, we're gonna go in with forgiveness, we're gonna go with compassion, right? All the things that we've been talking about these last couple of weeks, we're gonna go through it with having certain boundaries, if it's with people, that if like I say, in the midst, you're exploring those things, and you may have to interact with certain people, that may re traumatize you, we're gonna put boundaries up and like, maybe let's go a different way. So be open to receiving an answer that you may not like, but it's an answer that you need for your healing. So be intentional, yet be patient, right? So like, we can't come to these conclusions. With just listening to this podcast and just reflecting it has to be work, we put in work, to be great teachers, to be great mechanics to have great relationships with our partners. We need to put in work to have those relationships with ourselves. In doing so we can cultivate support, we can cultivate resources, I think I also talked about this a couple of episodes ago where I talked about on this journey. I listened to podcasts that have good genuine energy, I only do my yoga with two with one person, I just am slowly opening the door to a second person and not saying like, oh, like people have well no, there is a standard that needs to be met, right? Because right now healing, wellness is just is the thing it's so oversaturated. You can easily fall into situations that may not be completely authentic and that's just the reality of it just in life. Like we can be in the hair industry. You can be in makeup or beauty, whatever. There's people who unfortunately don't have the best intentions and we wish them nothing but well and healing in their process. But we also are going to be selfish, we talked about selfishness and selflessness, we can be selfish with understanding what energy we choose to receive and what energy we choose not to. So be mindful of that when you're gaining support and when you're gaining resources from other people. But it's important to have a tribe it's important to you know, kind of go with other communities to join other communities I should say, and do so selfishly, do so with intent and do so with work like I mean I was gonna say we're very picky about who our relationship with I hope you are. I hope you're picky, I'm going to be more practical, we're very picky about what type of food we eat. And again, I hope you are also let's be picky about who we exchange energy with. Let's be picky about who we decide to get into our space to help us on this journey of healing because it's not, it's not an easy thing but it's such a worth it thing. So be mindful of who you put in that circle be mindful of that type of energy that you exchange with them. You have to understand that you are special and like no one else in this world and that is okay. The same way that I may go through things the next person may go through things may not be the same way that you go through things. I believe last week we talked about taking what we need from a situation and letting go what we don't. You don't have to take on everything from those resources and support that you decide to get because you may not be in the space right now. Maybe if you ever go back and explore you know that that video, that audio whatever it is the class you may realize like okay, I'm more open to receiving that in the moment but initially you may not be and that's okay. You also have to understand that timing something that does not have to be a, how should I say like a consistent thing like it does not have to be like the timing of other people. I think one of my interviewees from the the last series we had Lexie, she talks you gave a beautiful example of like, why you should really be on your own time and I'd be slaughtering it if I tried to just regurgitate that out verbatim so I do encourage you guys to go back to that episode. But she just gave a beautiful example about everyone's timing is so different. The reason why it may take john 5 years to do something and Sally 10 years is because John and Sally's lifetime their life expectancy or even like the space they are in life are completely different. So things may have to be done quicker or slower and that's okay, it's still being done and it's in their journey. I told you guys I only watch and listen to people that give off good authentic energy and one of the YouTube couples that we watch is Josh and Isi a late like not a latest video, but one of their videos he was just talking about like literally staying in your own lane. If you're think about it when you're in traffic with someone and say you're all the way to the left, and this person is driving so slow, but you're ready to move faster but you can't because you're stuck behind them in their lane, or you say a little bit to the right there's someone driving so fast and you barely got and I don't think he used it this way but like the gist of it like you barely have any gas to keep up with them and you're trying to keep up with them damn near like spilling out your gas. The moral of the story is to really stay in your own lane go at the pace that you need to go at in the moment that is not too fast that is not too slow, but it's just right for you.

Jasmine St John 31:24
So some takeaways let this be a sign to explore who you are I believe that everything happens for a reason I don't really believe in irony I'm more so just believe in alignment I believe in just connection and if you're listening to this and you feel any inkling to really just dive deeper into who you are at your being do so why wait and oh my god, I don't know where I heard this. But it was magical and I would be like oh I'll put in the show notes. But it was so long ago and it just stuck with me. Why wait until death to rest and peace when you can live in peace today. I think I'm just gonna use that as a quote of the week at the end of the episode because truly when people pass and you know, their spirits live on we always say oh, may they rest in peace and yes, of course you want them to rest in peace. But why wait until then when that's the only time that you can rest in peace. Why can't you live in peace? I feel like it's so higher level so high consciousness, that it really has to be something from like, Devi Brown's earlier episodes or I don't even know but whoever said it, you are golden. You are appreciated. You are loving you are light. But truly why am I waiting till death to be in peace, when I can live in peace right now and I can choose peace right now. Also I'm reminding you that you are loved and you are supported. Now I may not know you by name by person by face. But I truly love this journey that I embarked on. If you guys listen to the first episode, I truly never thought I'd be right here right now doing this podcast and the way that I'm doing and truly just growing. I say that all to say you listen to your special, you are loved. I just hope that I help you realize that every time we talk because I truly mean it. And not on no bullshit like you are an amazing person. I really wish that you can see that.

Jasmine St John 33:44
Lastly, we're going to end this off by me saying the best thing you can do is love on you. Period. Because you can do so unconditionally, and with no judgment with no judgment. So I love you guys. I hope that you're having a great week, I pray that this week is even greater, even more amazing, reminding you that you are just so worthy. You're worthy of a wonderful relationship with yourself and a wonderful relationship with others as well. When you gain a relationship with yourself, you realize that this mediocracy that other people be trying to give you no for what, when and then you realize you start going around people being, around communities that embrace your higher self, not your old, not the old version of you. So I love you. Buh bye.

Jasmine St John 34:39
Alrighty y'all, so it's kind of like I said, I think the quote of the week is why wait until death to rest in peace. When you can live in peace today. Not sure who said that. Whoever you are, God bless you universe bless you be blessed. That was just amazing what you said and like I said, I came across this for a while now. And as I was writing this episode, that saying kind of just came to me and I just think it's golden, it's golden as heck. I hope that at least for you guys as well. I love you guys and have a wonderful Sunday or whenever you're listening to this right.

Jasmine St John 35:22
Thank you my love's for taking the time out to listen and join the conversation. I really hope you all enjoyed it. Please don't forget to subscribe and share this podcast. If you've done so already and you like the vibes. Be sure to write a review wherever you're listening to Shots of Serenity. It truly helps. Also, feel free to email or DM us with any recommendations, questions, comments or concerns. Our email is shotsofserenity@gmail.com our Instagram is shotsofserenity_ and those are all spelled the exact same way it is spelled on our podcast. I'll see you guys next episode. Thanks again for listening, peace and blessings to you all and your families. I hope you all have an amazing week. Buh bye.

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