Shots of Serenity Episode 47
| Jasmine St John
[00:00:00] Jasmine St John: Hello, my loves and welcome back to another episode of Shots of Serenity Podcast with your host, Jasmine St John, how are you guys? I hope all is well, I hope life has been gifting, you all the finer things that it has to offer. I hope that you have been gifting yourself all the things that you have to offer because you are life and life is you.
[00:00:24] Jasmine St John: Life is within you. You are all the things that you desire and need. So I think that this episode is a nice, like addition to our last episode about if you can be compassionate and still have boundaries. So I say that to say, if you have not listened to that episode, our last episode, please go ahead and listen to that episode today.
[00:00:52] Jasmine St John: We're really just going to be talking about forgiveness. So I wanted to start this episode with some affirmations. I told you guys sporadically, I'm not sure if every episode I'll do something that's grounding and brings us some awareness. I would like to do it as I'm called to do it as I'm led to do it.
[00:01:11] Jasmine St John: So today is an affirmation regarding forgiveness.
[00:01:17] Jasmine St John: So I want to set a foundation for all of these grounding exercises. I think it's important that if these are done or any form of these, however, you may or may not do them in your lives. I think that they should really be done intentionally. I think that should be space to do so not subconsciously or unconsciously as you're just, you know, walking around doing other things.
[00:01:43] Jasmine St John: So if you can, I would like to close your eyes, take a second. Be in a silent space. If you are not, that's fine as well. If you can just bring attention to the words, bring attention to how you may or may not resonate with them and all the beautiful things that awareness has to offer.
[00:02:01] Jasmine St John: So forgiveness is for me, not them. By forgiving others, true peace and serenity is mine. Forgiveness does not equate to weakness, but it is a sign of true strength. I'm going to go ahead and repeat that sequence. Forgiveness is for me, not them. By forgiving others, true peace and serenity is mine. Forgiveness does not equate to weakness, but it is a sign of true strength. So take as much time to sit into that as you please, we are going to go ahead and get into the conversation.
[00:03:15] Jasmine St John: Hello, my loves, and welcome to Shots of Serenity, where you can find dope conversations and a peace of mind. This podcast is not meant to be a replacement for counseling or psychotherapy. I encourage each and every one of you to seek out a licensed helping professional as you see fit. This podcast was established as a safe space to continue the conversation of mental health and all of its manifestations. Now let's get into it!
[00:03:50] Jasmine St John: Alrighty y'all I also wanted to point out that I have like a what is it called? Like a like a gain filter or a noise gate on, my microphone. So a lot of times I may, I know it may seem like weird sounds, but those pauses are typically me, really just taking a deep inhale and exhale. As I said, in our last episode, I would like to kind of dibble and dabble in all the things that have allowed me to grow, to become more aware, to be more in touch of my mind, my body, and my soul, and not just on a surface level, but internally, and one of those things is the relationship with my breath. The relationship with my breath, a part of me wants to say is more intimate than the relationship with myself, but that don't make no sense simply because of my breath is me and I am my breath. But however you want to take it.
[00:04:46] Jasmine St John: So yeah, the relationship with my breath has been dumb, crazy. So I just want to put that out there, but any who were talking about forgiveness. Forgiveness is the act of forgiving. To forgive is to grant pardon for, or remisson of, to cease, to feel resentment against. So I think I read that a little too fast.
[00:05:09] Jasmine St John: I'm a slow down. This is the definition of forgiveness. Forgiveness is the act of forgiving. To forgive is to grant pardon for, or remission of, to cease to feel resentment against. So this is not and I'm going to use this analogy a little bit later, but you kicked me in my knee. So I kind of forgave you, but the chance that I get to kick you back in your knee, I'm going to do it because why not.
[00:05:47] Jasmine St John: I know a lot of the examples I give are very baseline or very you know, beginner friendly, but I want to start bringing awareness to start thinking of these concepts in bigger, more, expansive, more intricate aspects of your life or our life. I say that all to say, forgiveness can be something as small as, you know, getting kicked in your knee or something as grand as forgiving your parents for maltreatment, neglect, all of those things.
[00:06:20] Jasmine St John: And now I'm not saying that makes any of those things right at all whatsoever. As we get into it, we're going to realize that forgiveness is truly for us. Not them as the affirmation stated, it's not about seeming weak or giving in it shows signs of strength, because all the things that we let manifests into our body, they store into our body and then they get reflected in our health.
[00:06:49] Jasmine St John: They get reflected in our impulses. They get reflected in our clouded judgment, they get reflected in a trauma response. So we continue to, you know, give that on to others. We talked about hurt people, hurt people. Again, all of these concepts are true awareness and I mean, I don't come on here just to have little, oh yeah we can do it in a little way. No, allow it to be as grand as your mind, body and spirit needs in the moment. Allow it to be as small and just a sense of awareness that your mind, body and spirit needs in the moment I have like this mindset now of just taking what I need from situations and letting go of things that I don't.
[00:07:35] Jasmine St John: That doesn't mean that something sucks or what have you, but even an example in this podcast, if what you needed to take away, where the affirmations take it, if you did not need the reminding of possible childhood neglect or all those things, then don't take it. It is not yours, so do not take it.
[00:07:58] Jasmine St John: But I wanted to, I wanted to set that foundation and all the things that I, you know, like to bring awareness to I've practiced in my life, practice in my space. Not saying that I'm perfect at it, but I practice and it's really crazy. Cause I was going to come on here and talk about it. We talked last session about compassion.
[00:08:19] Jasmine St John: And having boundaries, but taking no shit and y'all when I say that I was challenged with this concept last week, it was crazy. Okay. It was crazy. So yeah, all the things that we talk about here are open space are things that we all think about, but we don't really want to talk about because, you know, it may seem weird or it seems like we're the only ones going through it, or some people want to talk about it, but they want to sugar coat it.
[00:08:53] Jasmine St John: And it's like, nah sis, I'm not my own yes man. I'm not the yes man of the people in my life. So I'm not going to be y'all yes man. If needed hell yeah. Am I going to encourage you? Hell yeah. Am I going to motivate you show you that your higher self is right there. I'm going to do all of those things, but I'm not going to sugar coat real, you know, and I'm not going to do it in my life.
[00:09:18] Jasmine St John: So I don't want to do that in your lives. So I wanted to give that disclaimer, because trauma is real, trauma is a very expansive thing to heal, but it's doable. It's doable and it's achievable. And I'm gonna just leave it there. So what does it mean to forgive is to what? To forgive is to let go of ill feelings, whether that be hate, whether that be maltreatment, whether that be micro-aggressions, when you think about these things, yes.
[00:09:57] Jasmine St John: They make us upset. Yes. It's, fucked up and I'm not taking away from any of those things. Yes, it's inconsiderate. It's all the adjective that you can put in there and not invalidating feelings. We love feelings over here, but what exact what not, but we're not using, but, and what exactly can change the situation?
[00:10:25] Jasmine St John: We can't go back in time. We can't do anything, but act. The action can go one or two ways, either you beat that person up for trying you, okay. I know, I know impulsively, that just sounds like it would fix the situation, but it won't, or you can realize how this situation, this experiences trauma has affected you, has affected me, has affected us and take actions to, I can't even say, fix the situation, but heal the person on the other end of the situation. Heal the other people on the end of the situation, what do you want to do? Do you want to heal yourself just so that you will not have to continue that cycle of hate? Would you like to do that and, you know, start a nonprofit organization for those that go through trauma, for those that have to go through maltreatment, like, what is the action, behind the emotion. Another thing that forgiveness is, is forgiveness grants yourself true peace. Again, this is a very supportive follow-up from our last conversation. Think about the energy that it takes to hold resentment in your body. Think about how that manifests into something. And we talked a little bit earlier about that, that stress, can affect gut health.
[00:12:04] Jasmine St John: That stress will imbalance the hormones in your body, the dopamine, the serotonin, the endorphins, all of those things, just from holding resentment. No, ma'am. No, sir. Like I'm not even going to allow you to get all of me, like you're, you're messing up my dopamine. Like what, no, it just doesn't make any sense to me.
[00:12:27] Jasmine St John: So, yes, heavy on letting go of that resentment. Life is so short life is so short. It's so short. It's so short. And when you think about karma, it, you realize that it is out of your hands, whether whatever your spiritual beliefs are or what have you, if it is Christian base in the sense where God has the final say, is it Christ conscious?
[00:12:55] Jasmine St John: In the sense where it's above me. Is it any of those things or any other lineage, religion, spirituality? Is it the fact that, you know, at the end of the day, your spiritual team has you, whatever point of view you may have for karma, for what goes around, comes around, tap into that and realize that it is not your job.
[00:13:23] Jasmine St John: You do not get paid to be the person that shows the messed up person, the unhealed person, like give them repercussions for their actions. It's not, it's not your job. It's not our job to do that. So forgiveness is to have full consideration that we are imperfect beings. Again, heavy on whatever spiritual, religious practice that you adhere to. You want forgiveness, you've done quote, unquote, wrong things. You've done things that the old version of yourself has done, but the higher version of yourself would never do. But in all of those, you were still a trying being, and all of those, you were still a learning, evolving being.
[00:14:19] Jasmine St John: So we want forgiveness, in our partners, we want forgiveness in our parents, we want forgiveness to whoever we call God, we want forgiveness to whoever we call Allah, for whoever we call Buddha, all of those things we want forgiveness from these higher entities. We want forgiveness from ourselves because, you know, that's a whole nother thing.
[00:14:41] Jasmine St John: We are the higher entities. We are spirit. We are divine. We are all of those things, but that is not even what we're talking about right now. So yes, we want forgiveness from all of those things, those people, those places, and we can't offer it onto others. Like you were unhealed before I was unhealed before we were unhealed before, and we did some messed up stuff and we wanted to be forgave.
[00:15:08] Jasmine St John: We wanted to be forgiven. We wanted to not be judged or condemned for our impulsive decisions. What takes that away from other people? I don't want to keep sounding redundant forgiveness, compassion is, is very dual to boundaries. We want all these things, all this, all these levels of forgiveness and compassion from other people, but what have you done to lend it on to others. And I always, I'm going to use you, we me. So it can be very inclusive. So no one will feel attacks for no one to feel like I'm currently going through these situations. But we, as a unit, we, as souls having this human experience, how do we expect to be, forgave, or forgiven?
[00:15:58] Jasmine St John: And we don't even embody those qualities ourselves. Come on. Do you forgive? Are you compassionate? Are you considerate that other people have their own traumas as well? And the way that they responded is not a reflection of you, but it is of them ask yourself that. The question isn't oh, so this person is being let off easy, but what is the best interest of my mind, my body and my spirit in this situation. Am I going to take the higher route or am I going to stoop down to their level and possibly have to go through like the repercussions to whatever magnitude that will be, or possibly store that, that unhealedness store that cycle, and then transfer it onto other people.
[00:16:53] Jasmine St John: Like what, what option are you taking? I want to talk about the phrase, forgive and forget, or I can forgive, but I'm not going to forget. What does that truly mean? What does that mean to you? My personal view of that is I am aware, but it is not stored in my being. I'm aware that that's how you move. I'm aware.
[00:17:22] Jasmine St John: I'm a firm believer that when people show you who you are, believe them. If that's what you're showing me, who you are in this moment, then I'm a believe you. Hopefully you decide to evolve, but you're showing me who you are. So I'm going to believe you. And I'm going to move accordingly. So. Yes, the forgive and forget is I'm aware, but I'm not going to let a store in me, but you know, duality right. So I want to paint this picture. I use this analogy a lot with someone in my life and what I say is if we're just going to paint a picture. Let's say, I, every time I come pass you, you listening and I kick you in your knee and the first time it's like, dang, that kind of hurt, but maybe it was a mistake. But then the next day I come around and I kick you in the knee again, it's like, well, is this a mistake or are you doing it on purpose?
[00:18:21] Jasmine St John: Then I come around, I kick you again. And now you're just like, all right, it's not a mistake. Sis is kicking me on purpose. Do I let you continue to kick me in my knee? Do you, let me continue to kick you in your knee, that an answer that only you can answer, do you, let me kick you in your knee, but then realize, oh, this really hurts.
[00:18:46] Jasmine St John: Let me just patch it up and move on with my life. Or are you going to realize I'm coming and understand that maybe when you're sitting down, that's when I kick you in your knee. So I'm going to stand up and I'm going to move over to the left. And then when I asked you, Hey, why aren't you sitting down?
[00:19:07] Jasmine St John: Because I don't feel like getting kicked in the knee right now. Oh, okay. And I keep moving or it can be when I come to kick you in your leg, you're like, Hey, I realized that every time I'm sitting down, you kick me in my knee. Can we not do that? It hurts. My knee hurts. I'm tired of fixing it. I'm tired of getting kicked.
[00:19:31] Jasmine St John: So can you stop? And I can say yes and then, you know, something is established there or I can say no, and say, I'm going to still kick you. For you, you may be like, oh, okay, bet and never be in that space, in that route that I take every day that I kick you in your knee. So I hope that reach for someone who it needed to reach for. I say that to say, I gave about what like four or five different options, different alternatives, personally, none of them is right or wrong. Life is about choices. What choice are you going to make? All of those choices is a mixture of compassion, is a mixture of boundaries, is a mixture of forgiveness is a mixture of like all of those things.
[00:20:23] Jasmine St John: What are, what, what route are you going to take? You may take different routes and different situations with different people and all of those things are okay. What's important in all of those situations is that you did what was best for you in that moment? What was best for you?
[00:20:40] Jasmine St John: What was in the best interest of your mind, your body and your spirit in that moment? So, like I said, maybe that reached to some people, maybe it didn't, but please remember that, none of those answers are, or none of the situations or routes that you could have taken were better than the other. Everything is based on situation.
[00:21:03] Jasmine St John: Everything is based on where you are in life and who we're talking about. I think that's just been a summary of, again, the compassion, the boundless of boundaries forgiveness. So just some takeaway, some takeaway stuff. Forgiveness is healing. It's a healing tool. It is not easy, but it is needed for your healing.
[00:21:30] Jasmine St John: Forgiveness is a true practice. It's not an easy, it's not an easy thing. We're going to have to learn what options to take in who to take them with. We're going to have to learn what boundaries to set up in that moment? It's not going to be an easy one, two, three thing. Forgiveness takes true work. It takes true practice.
[00:21:52] Jasmine St John: It takes true thought work it takes all of those things. It's not going to happen overnight. So be patient and gracious with yourself, but like all things be intentional. Lastly forgiveness happens on your timing. I can sit here and tell you that you should forgive the person that kicked you in your knee tomorrow because it's in your best interest, but you may not be ready to forgive right now because it's.
[00:22:21] Jasmine St John: You just got to get some other things done. First, you have to heal some other parts of you first and that is okay. That happens in your best timing happening in your own timing and completely neglecting or pushing it off to the side are two different things. And I'm sure if this is a message for you versus someone, you know, the difference so listen to your intuition.
[00:22:49] Jasmine St John: I know this wasn't a nice, friendly topic. We all wanted to talk about forgiveness is a very tricky thing. A thing that we don't really want to do all the time, especially if we feel like that person doesn't deserve it, but let me be the one to say you deserve forgiveness. So does that other person, forgiveness doesn't mean we cool buddies, forgiveness doesn't mean I have to allow you back into my space.
[00:23:15] Jasmine St John: Forgiveness is how you cultivate it and what that may entail for you. I love you guys. I love you very, very much. I want to start having more conscious conversations. I want to start having more real conversations. I want to start having more conversations that still have that yin and yang, that duality the fact that, you know, it doesn't have to be completely true and it doesn't have to be completely false.
[00:23:45] Jasmine St John: I want these conversations to stem as awareness to things that will allow us on our journey, on our healing process that would aid and guide us through what we desire in life. Whether that be well, we're not going to go on a tangent, but what we desire in life. Any who, I love you guys very, very, very, very, very much.
[00:24:05] Jasmine St John: If you felt convicted or felt some type of way from this episode. I encourage you to message me. I want to have a conversation. I would love to build community. That is for sure the next goal for this year. I want to tell you guys so much about what I've been working on, but I'm going to wait. Please stay tuned it is up November 1st. If I get my life, when I get my life together, okay, there are so many things happening. But I love you guys again, DM me at shotsofserenity_ on Instagram, email me at email@example.com, I love to have open conversations. I love to have perspective. So don't, if you disagree or something, doesn't resonate.
[00:24:52] Jasmine St John: Let's talk about it. I want to learn from you and I want to hear your thoughts, your feelings. This is not a I'm telling you what to do. This is not a, my opinion is higher or better than yours type of deal. This is a community. This is a conversation. This is how we can all heal and work on our mental health with dope conversations.
[00:25:13] Jasmine St John: So I love you guys have a wonderful day, a wonderful week, manifest all the things that you desire this week. Okay, because there is power in your tongue, there's power in your thoughts and there's power in your actions. So how are you going to show up for you this week?
[00:25:29] Jasmine St John: Alrighty beautiful people. It is time for the quote of the week. This week's quote is from Tyler Perry and he says it's not an easy journey to get to a place where you forgive people, but it is such a powerful place because it frees you. It frees you ya'll and I know you want to be free, have a free week. Love you guys, Buh bye.
[00:25:52] Jasmine St John: Thank you my loves for taking the time out to listen and join the conversation. I really hope you all enjoyed it. Please don't forget to subscribe and share this podcast, if you've done so already and you liked the vibes, be sure to write a review wherever you're listening to Shots of Serenity, it truly helps also feel free to email or DM us with any recommendations, questions, comments, or concerns.
[00:26:23] Jasmine St John: Our email is firstname.lastname@example.org. Our Instagram is shotsofserenity_, and those are all spelled the exact same way it is spelled on our podcast. I'll see you guys next episode. Thanks again for listening, peace and blessings to you all and your families and I hope we all have an amazing week.
[00:26:48] Jasmine St John: Buh Bye.